Sorry, No Refunds.....

Imagine if parenting was just like going shopping, you could pick out just what you want, in the perfect size, color and style...  Wouldn't life be great?  Well, parenting is like going shopping, well, sort of....  We pick out our mates, in the size, color and style that we wanted.  Then we get a finished product, our little bundles of joy!!!!

There are some items in which we purchase that seem like the best investment ever and then there are items in which we wonder, what was I thinking when I purchased this?!?!?!

Well, parenting can feel pretty much like this on a regular basis.  Some days you feel as if you could not imagine life without your child(ren) and other days, you start to rethink your life choices....

 A few months ago, I was having a really hard time with one of my children.  When I say a hard time, I mean the kind in which you cry and ask yourself, "What did I do in life to deserve this?" I was at my wits end and didn't know what i was going to do.

On days in which I start to rethink why the heck did I decide to be a parent, I try to utilize an outlet to relieve my stress.  My outlet is crafting!!!!  I love paper crafting and digital designing for parties.  I like to think outside of the box and create unique things.  This takes me to a happy place and helps me get away mentally from my day to day stressors.  Even if its for a few moments, it make all of the difference in the manner in which I respond to my children on those VERY stressful days.

Since resources might be scarce for some people to have child(ren) free moments, finding an outlet is essential for survival.  Whether it's reading, music, watching TV or hanging out with friends, we all need HEALTHY outlets in life, otherwise we can lose control faster than a tantruming 3 year old. 

Just like everyone, The Momgician has both good and bad days.... However, I am grateful for the resources I have in my life and my hobbies.

Thankfully, I have more good days than bad.  I've dreamed of being a parent since I was a little girl and I wouldn't trade being one for ANYTHING in the world! 

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The Magic of a Village

Everyone has heard the African Proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child".  The fact is, it does!   

Every magician has an assistant or famulus, because a good magic act could not be pulled off without help and the role of a parent is too large of a task to take on alone.

I know that there are a lot of people out there that have raised children on their own with little to no support from others (that person might be you), however, I'm certain if they had it their way, they would have welcomed the help.

Thankfully, I am one of those very fortunate people in which I have a great team of support.  Some are hired, most are not.  My team of support consists of my family and very close friends I can call on in a pinch to help me with my children.  I work in the social service field and even on a supervisory level, my work hours can be very unpredictable. 

I know bragging is not nice, but I must brag, because my team of support (village) are AMAZING!!!  I've been able to go on kids free vacations annually, date night with my significant other, late night work events and various unexpected outings.  If it wasn't for my village, none of this would be possible...  My life would be complicated and it probably would have affected my chances of getting promoted because networking is extremely important in any field of work (which always happens in the evening or weekends).

One part of my village is called the "Dual Moms".  It's not exactly what one might think...  We're a group of friends that have known each other for at least 20 years.  Two of us have children and the other two are our backup moms (Godmothers).  One pair of the dual moms resides in New Jersey and the other in New York.  Ironically our daughters birthdays are two weeks apart, we even planned our baby showers around each other to ensure it did not conflict with one another.  Our children are the best of friends and call each other cousins, so you know many play dates are planned throughout the year.

In this particular part of the village, we have cried together, shared our losses, frustrations, hopes and desires with one another.  This village has helped me through some really tough times in my life; which has allowed me to be the great mom I was destined to be and "The Momgician" that's able to sprinkle a little bit of magic into my children's lives everyday!

 Another part of my village is my family.  My sister and I are only 4 years apart from each other, but there is a 15-16 years age gap between our children.  When my sister was raising her children, I was her backup and her children calls me "Momti" (Mommy/Auntie).  Although they are in their early 20's now, I'm still there for them.  As an advocate, mentor and of course, financial assistance.  Thankfully there is this age gap, because I can call on my niece and nephew for assistance with my children!  Not to mention, they are very responsible and dependable.  I also can call on my sister, although she's SO past the parenting of little children stage, she's there when I need her most.       

To my wonderful Village, you know who you are and the role you play in our lives.  I want to thank you for making everyday easier and for helping me while I take on this monumental task of parenthood!

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Parties & Gift Giving

I'm not certain about your weekly social calendar, but I'm starting to feel like I need to plan my social calendar around my daughter's nonstop social life.  Oh did I mention that she's 6 years old....  Yes, you read it right, 6 years old!  I love my daughter, I truly do but she has a nonstop social calendar, especially when school is in session.  The play dates, extra curricular activities and the BIRTHDAY PARTIES!!!

My daughter has about 28 children in her classroom, not to mention, friends from her previous class and school.  She gets invited to every event known to man!  I truly appreciate the fact that my daughter is an extrovert and can be a social butterfly but my pockets are not always inline with my daughter's social lifestyle.  Not to mention, she gets upset whenever I pick out her friend's birthday presents.  I had to explain to her that mommy is not rich and I cannot afford to purchase $75 gifts for every child's birthday party.  There have been weekends in which we've had 3 parties to attend.  At times I've became overwhelmed with trying to take care of my regular weekend errands and trying to remember to buy gifts for these various birthday parties. 

I was talking to my daughter's tutor one day about my dilemma and she gave me a great idea that I've been utilizing for a little over a year.  Buying birthday presents in bulk and in advance.  I was thinking to myself, why didn't I think of this before...  Now I purchase presents whenever I'm out shopping or online and see a sale.  I usually purchase items that my children like at the moment,   I take them and put them away for a rainy day.  

You don't know how helpful this tactic has been over the past year.  It has even helped me when I've been invited to last minute children's parties and didn't want to show up empty-handed...  This tactic is also very helpful around Christmas time as well.  How many times have you had that unexpected gift from someone and you needed to find something in a pinch.  Now I always have additional gifts on hand.

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Fall Family Fun!!!

During the Fall season in NYC/Tri-State area, there are so many fun activities to do with the family.  Most of the times, the issue becomes which ones can we really fit into our weekend schedule.  Here are some of my top picks for the Fall.

Bronx Zoo (Boo At the Zoo)

http://bronxzoo.com/boo-at-the-zoo

#BooAtTheZoo #MyBudgetTravel

I've been a member of the Bronx Zoo for 5 years.  It has been one of the best investments I've ever made!  One of the most exciting thing to do at the Bronx Zoo is Boo at the Zoo.  This event is held every weekend in October.  Some of the highlights of Boo at the Zoo:

·     3-D Pumpkin Carving - Sand Sculpture USA create pumpkin carvings of different animals each weekend

·     Costume Parade - The Alice Farley Dance Company will lead the costumed kids in an Animal Mystery and Mischief Parade!

·     Treat Stations - Kids can safely trick or treat around the zoo with snacks from Welch's Fruit Snacks, Pirates Booty, Hershey's milk chocolate treats, and various gummy candies!

Sesame Place (The Count’s Halloween Spooktacular)

http://sesameplace.com 

#SesamePlace

Sesame Place is another destination in which I have an annual membership.  During the Fall season, Sesame Place has the Count's Halloween Spooktacular every weekend in October. Sesame Place highlights: 

·     Shows - There are several Halloween themed shows to attend throughout the day.  The Not-Too-Spooky Howl-O-Ween Radio Show, Who Said Boo! and Elmo the Musical—Halloween!

·     Rides - Although Sesame Place is known for it's water rides, during the Fall/Winter seasons, Sesame Place adds several rides to the park.  Sesame Place rides are family friendly but do have height restrictions, however, there is something for everyone.

 

·     Treats - What's Halloween without treats?  Well look no further, there are treats to be found throughout the park at various treat stations.  

Apple/Pumpkin Picking

#ApplePicking

One of my favorite activities in the Fall is apple picking!  There are so many apple picking farms in New York, New Jersey and Connecticut, I could dedicate an entire blog to them alone.  Which farm one chooses is a personal choice that might be based on location/ distance, activites available and farm standards (organic, Eco-certified, etc).

·     Fishkill Farms http://www.fishkillfarms.com - A family-run u-pick orchard and organic vegetable farm in the Hudson Valley, NY.  They have delicious apple cider donuts and there always seems to be a backyard style party going on.

·     Demarest Farm http://demarestfarms.com/apple-picking - This over a century old orchard is located in Hillsdale, NJ.  Along with their apple picking, they have home grown vegetables, bakery, deli, home made donuts and you can also enjoy a hayride. 

Little Club Heads

http://www.littleclubheads.com

#LittleClubHeads

Are you looking for some high energy fun for your kid(s) that LOVES to party?  Well Little Clubs Heads is the place for you!  A party destination that's not only fun but is made just for the little ones. They usually have one Little Club Heads party a month.  For the month of October, there will be two Halloween events.

·     Pre-Halloween Party (Jersey City ) - Friday, October 23, 2015

Grace Church Van Vorst, 39 Erie Street, Jersey City, NJ

7pm-9pm         

·     Halloween  Party (NYC ) - Saturday, October 31st, 2015

Broad Street Ballroom, 41 Broad Street, New York, NY 10004

12pm-3pm          

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Trying to Conceive....

Disclaimer:  The following topic might be difficult for some people, especially those that are having difficulties conceiving or unable to conceive a child.

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Accessing Private Schools at Any Income

It's about that time of the year in which many parents are applying for interviews/ play dates at Independent Schools (private) across NYC.   In a very diverse city like New York, many things seem to be out of reach for many parents, such as a good education for their children.  What many parents don't know is that there are various programs available to help them along the way.  

As a hobby, I love to research various things (weird, I know).  I find out about things under the radar and I find myself researching about things for months at a time, depending on how well it keeps my interest.  

When I was pregnant, I started researching schools throughout NYC.  One of the first things I notice was the price tag that went along with sending my soon to be child to one of these schools.  I was in shock, especially since it was going to cost me more than my undergrad and graduate tuition combine by the time my child would reach middle school!  Keep in mind, I went to private schools for both of my degrees...

After my sticker price shock, I put this search on the back-burner for another few years until my son was nearing preschool age.  I searched high and low for the "Right-Fit" school for my son.  Prior to preschool, my son was receiving Early Intervention Services for speech and occupational therapy.  I wanted to ensure whichever school he attended, they understood his needs.  In addition, I needed it to be within my financial scope.   

I researched and toured several schools for my son but it was one school that stood out amongst them all.  It was a wonderful Montessori School with a very enriched early childhood development program and most importantly, it was as diverse.  

The parent body was very prominent in the school and I loved that they interviewed perspective parents, not an admission personnel.  The bonus for me was the fact that this school had an AMAZING scholarship fund that was started many years ago to ensure that quality early childhood education was accessible to all families, no matter their race, color, creed or financial status.

 Although I loved everything about the school, the caveat was the fact that there was an admission process and you never know how your child will perform at the play date.  Thankfully all went well and my son was admitted into the school and we received a very generous scholarship!  


It's very understandable that many parents don't know where to start when it comes to being able to afford private schools.  The Momgician is here to add a little magic into your life.  Below are a few resources available:

TEAK Fellowships:

http://www.teakfellowship.org

• Be enrolled in sixth grade at the time of their application
• Attend a public or parochial school in one of the five boroughs of NYC and be a NYC resident
• Earn 90% or above in all classes
• Obtained a 3 or 4 on the 5th-grade ELA and Math New York State Test and/or scored in the 90th percentile on other standardized tests taken in the 5th grade
• Come from families with financial need
• Provide proof of academic merit and family income
• Be citizens or permanent residents of the United States
• Must have strong attendance and punctuality records

The Oliver Scholars Program:

http://oliverscholars.org

• Be of African or Latino descent; 
• Carry a Grade Point Average (GPA) of 90% in sixth and seventh grade in Math, Science, English, Social Studies and Foreign Language, with no score lower than an 85% in any subject;
• Have a combined raw score of at least 600 on NYC Math and ELA exams, with no score lower than a 300;
• Be an active participant in extracurricular activities;
• Demonstrate leadership potential through school and community involvement;
• Have a strong desire to achieve success and contribute to society.

EARLY STEPS:

http://www.earlysteps.org

• EARLY STEPS serves families of children of color.

• EARLY STEPS  work with families whose children will be entering kindergarten (age 4 by August 31st of the year they apply) or first grade (age 5 by August 31st of the year they apply).

• Families must be able to bring their children to schools located in the NYC boroughs of: The Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan, and Staten Island or Tarrytown NY.  
  
  

Prep for Prep:

http://www.prepforprep.org    

Each year, over 600 New York City-area schools nominate their top students of color for a place in Prep for Prep through the Talent Search, Prep’s competitive admissions process.

• Approximately 6,000 candidates who scored in the 90th percentile or above on statewide English Language Arts and/or Math tests are nominated by their public, charter, or parochial schools and screened by Prep.
• Based on initial testing, about 1,000 students progress to the Second Level, which includes individual educational testing, teacher recommendations, and interviews.
• About 125 candidates are accepted into Prep for Prep (fifth- and sixth-graders for day school placement) and approximately 75 are accepted into PREP 9 (seventh-graders for boarding school placement).

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State Department Scholarships for High School Study Abroad

The U.S. Department of State recently announced scholarships for American high school students to study abroad. Please share the information below with your K-12 students and colleagues! Applications are now being accepted for the following study abroad programs for U.S. high school students. These merit-based scholarships include international airfare, tuition, and program costs, as well as meals and living accommodations (often with a host family). The programs have no language prerequisites, and gap year students are encouraged to apply as long as they meet the age requirements.   Please note that each program has a separate online application process, and application deadlines vary from late October through early January. Visit the program websites or www.exchanges.state.gov for specific information and application deadlines. The National Security Language Initiative for Youth (NSLI-Y) offers merit-based scholarships to study one of seven critical foreign languages: Arabic, Chinese, Hindi, Korean, Persian (Tajiki), Russian, and Turkish. The NSLI-Y program is designed to immerse participants in the cultural life of the host country, provide formal and informal language practice, and spark a lifetime interest in foreign languages and cultures. The application deadline for summer 2016 and academic year 2016-17 programs is October 29, 2015. Visit www.nsliforyouth.org for more information. The Kennedy-Lugar Youth Exchange and Study (YES) Abroad Program offers merit-based scholarships to spend an academic year in countries that may include Bosnia & Herzegovina, Ghana, India, Indonesia, Macedonia, Malaysia, Morocco, Philippines, Senegal, Thailand, and Turkey. This program increases understanding between people in the United States and people in countries with significant Muslim populations. Students live with host families, attend local high schools, do community service, and complete a capstone project. Applications for academic year 2016-17 programs are due December 1, 2015. Visit www.yes-abroad.org for more information. The Congress-Bundestag Youth Exchange Program (CBYX) offers merit-based scholarships for an academic year in Germany. The program was established in 1983 to celebrate German-American friendship based on common values of democracy. Students live with host families, attend local schools, and participate in community life in Germany. For more information and application deadlines, visit the organization in charge of recruitment for your state at www.usagermanyscholarship.org. Deadlines for U.S. applicants range from December 1, 2015 to January 15, 2016, depending on state of residency. For more information on exchanges sponsored by the U.S. Department of State’s Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs, visit www.exchanges.state.gov or watch this video about U.S. high school student exchanges. To receive printed brochures and/or posters about study abroad opportunities, send an email with your request to youthprograms@state.gov. For information on having an international experience without leaving home, consider hosting a Department of State- sponsored exchange student. Learn more at http://hosting.state.gov.

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Dairy, Soy, Gluten Free... That Dietary Lifestyle is NOT for Me (So I Thought).....

Like many other parents, we want to provide our children with nutritional foods.  However, like many parents, I'm on a budget!  My definition of being on a budget might not be the same as someone else's but nonetheless, I'm on one.

I'm not one of those parents that like to jump on the first nutritional bandwagon because it can become a financial hardship.  I purchase a lot of organic produce, Non-GMO and Fair Trade items whenever possible.  But this stuff gets really expensive!!!! 

A few years ago I started noticing EVERYTHING with a label saying Gluten Free.  Some items that were always and naturally gluten free would even tote these labels (Gluten Free Popcorn!?!?!).  It was to the point I was getting a little annoyed with the whole thing and felt that this was another food fad.

Not to mention, you have some very high maintenance parents who's child is allergic to life (we all know at least one parent that fits this category).  But by all means, please don't get offended if your child has a genuine food allergy. 

Towards the end of the school year, my 6 year old daughter started complaining of stomach aches.  I just assumed it was the pressure of the last few weeks of school.  She's in a G&T program and the expectations are REALLY high, so naturally I assumed it must be stress.  Summer commences and my daughter continues to complain of stomach aches day after day, night after night.  What really scared me was when she said her heart hurts.  I was like stop the presses!!!! Urgent Care here we go.  I went to this lovely Urgent Care in Westchester County and was seen within 10 minutes of our arrival.  We met with the physician and she went over various possibilities such as constipation, indigestion, etc...  We also had a follow up appointment with my daughter's new PCP.  At her appointment, we went over her diet but we were still at a loss for the underlying issue.

Three months into my daughter's stomach irritation and a light bulb went off in my head.  I noticed that my daughter was not complaining of stomach pains for a few days and I started to decipher what was different.  She didn't have any wheat or barley products!!!  Then I said to myself and my significant other, I think our daughter has gluten sensitivity...  So we tested this theory out.  

While we were traveling to China, I ensured that our daughter avoided wheat products.  Not a very easy task, especially since she loves pasta.  During that time, she did not complain of any stomach discomfort, except for when she decided to have a piece of bread during one of our flights.  

Upon our return from China, I decided to invest in purchasing more gluten free items primarily for my daughter.  I found myself spending $300 on food but I was so upset because I was having a hard time putting my food purchases together in order to make a meal for a week.  Gluten Free foods are rather over priced.  A bag of bagels cost $7!?!?!  I think I need to report this to the authorities because I've been robbed.  These prices should be illegal but as a parent of a child with certain dietary restrictions, what can you possibly do?  

My daughter has another follow up appointment with her PCP to confirm our theory but she's been feeling a lot better since the dietary change and she's a lot less bloated.

About 1% of the population actually has celiac disease and 20 million Americans suffer from: non-celiac gluten sensitivity (NCGS).

So the moral of the story is....  What you least expect or want to expect, just might actually be the culprit. 

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