Sorry, No Refunds.....

Imagine if parenting was just like going shopping, you could pick out just what you want, in the perfect size, color and style...  Wouldn't life be great?  Well, parenting is like going shopping, well, sort of....  We pick out our mates, in the size, color and style that we wanted.  Then we get a finished product, our little bundles of joy!!!!

There are some items in which we purchase that seem like the best investment ever and then there are items in which we wonder, what was I thinking when I purchased this?!?!?!

Well, parenting can feel pretty much like this on a regular basis.  Some days you feel as if you could not imagine life without your child(ren) and other days, you start to rethink your life choices....

 A few months ago, I was having a really hard time with one of my children.  When I say a hard time, I mean the kind in which you cry and ask yourself, "What did I do in life to deserve this?" I was at my wits end and didn't know what i was going to do.

On days in which I start to rethink why the heck did I decide to be a parent, I try to utilize an outlet to relieve my stress.  My outlet is crafting!!!!  I love paper crafting and digital designing for parties.  I like to think outside of the box and create unique things.  This takes me to a happy place and helps me get away mentally from my day to day stressors.  Even if its for a few moments, it make all of the difference in the manner in which I respond to my children on those VERY stressful days.

Since resources might be scarce for some people to have child(ren) free moments, finding an outlet is essential for survival.  Whether it's reading, music, watching TV or hanging out with friends, we all need HEALTHY outlets in life, otherwise we can lose control faster than a tantruming 3 year old. 

Just like everyone, The Momgician has both good and bad days.... However, I am grateful for the resources I have in my life and my hobbies.

Thankfully, I have more good days than bad.  I've dreamed of being a parent since I was a little girl and I wouldn't trade being one for ANYTHING in the world! 

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The Magic of a Village

Everyone has heard the African Proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child".  The fact is, it does!   

Every magician has an assistant or famulus, because a good magic act could not be pulled off without help and the role of a parent is too large of a task to take on alone.

I know that there are a lot of people out there that have raised children on their own with little to no support from others (that person might be you), however, I'm certain if they had it their way, they would have welcomed the help.

Thankfully, I am one of those very fortunate people in which I have a great team of support.  Some are hired, most are not.  My team of support consists of my family and very close friends I can call on in a pinch to help me with my children.  I work in the social service field and even on a supervisory level, my work hours can be very unpredictable. 

I know bragging is not nice, but I must brag, because my team of support (village) are AMAZING!!!  I've been able to go on kids free vacations annually, date night with my significant other, late night work events and various unexpected outings.  If it wasn't for my village, none of this would be possible...  My life would be complicated and it probably would have affected my chances of getting promoted because networking is extremely important in any field of work (which always happens in the evening or weekends).

One part of my village is called the "Dual Moms".  It's not exactly what one might think...  We're a group of friends that have known each other for at least 20 years.  Two of us have children and the other two are our backup moms (Godmothers).  One pair of the dual moms resides in New Jersey and the other in New York.  Ironically our daughters birthdays are two weeks apart, we even planned our baby showers around each other to ensure it did not conflict with one another.  Our children are the best of friends and call each other cousins, so you know many play dates are planned throughout the year.

In this particular part of the village, we have cried together, shared our losses, frustrations, hopes and desires with one another.  This village has helped me through some really tough times in my life; which has allowed me to be the great mom I was destined to be and "The Momgician" that's able to sprinkle a little bit of magic into my children's lives everyday!

 Another part of my village is my family.  My sister and I are only 4 years apart from each other, but there is a 15-16 years age gap between our children.  When my sister was raising her children, I was her backup and her children calls me "Momti" (Mommy/Auntie).  Although they are in their early 20's now, I'm still there for them.  As an advocate, mentor and of course, financial assistance.  Thankfully there is this age gap, because I can call on my niece and nephew for assistance with my children!  Not to mention, they are very responsible and dependable.  I also can call on my sister, although she's SO past the parenting of little children stage, she's there when I need her most.       

To my wonderful Village, you know who you are and the role you play in our lives.  I want to thank you for making everyday easier and for helping me while I take on this monumental task of parenthood!

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